WHITE - a memory
She woke one morning, scrunching her toes in the cold sheets to feel some warmth and wriggled around. She spread her arms across the huge and never ending bed, nuzzling into the soft sheets and opened her eyes. The air was still and cool, the light through the windows was bright but almost grey and had steamed up behind the netted curtains. It was another day but today felt different. From a distance, she could hear her mother humming as breakfast was cooking. Her mother’s low melodic humming was a reminder that it was the weekend for she was at home and not away working, which immediately excited her for the day. She slowly swung her small, soft feet out of the bed and with a hop bounced down and made her way to the kitchen. The smell of coffee and some sort of fried food welcomed her as she nestled in between her mother’s legs. Her mother, with loving anticipation, greeted her with a smile, which was probably the most beautiful and kind one she would ever encounter. However, as her mother attempted to coax her out of her sleepy hibernation, she was distracted, hardly hearing what her mother was saying.
Something was falling in the sky. It was barely noticeable but it was definitely there. Delicate, wispy flakes of ice were drifting through the sky landing upon the thick layer of what appeared to be frosting, covering the motionless world. The flakes of this strange white fell elegantly, carried by the wind as if they were dancing, happy to fall from such a height, perhaps even flying. It was strange watching the silence of the outside, as if you could finally witness quietness mold itself around the world. It was so still and as she watched the hushed white envelop the outside, she suddenly felt a shift in her understanding of herself. She was so small. Not compared to the kitchen counter or the table top where her mother was placing something steaming on. But in fact, small compared to how vast and immense out there was. It gripped her and as her feet felt the cold of the tiled floor, she felt utterly taken over by this sentiment. She could not yet fully understand it or even formulate the thought out loud. But she felt it completely, and paralysed by this realisation she stayed mesmerised by the strange weightless bits of white, they were infinite.
Soon she was being ushered out of this motionless hypnosis, towards the front door of the flat, a small one-bedroom space for two, barely three. The snow was cascading down and as the door opened wide, she felt the bitter air hit her, and involuntarily let out a breath to reveal a mist leaving her mouth. She stayed fixated upon the sky, never moving her head, looking up with astonishment. Her mother quickly bundled her up in her winter coat and boots whispering “look its snow”, whilst holding her shoulders. The word took her out of her awe and she repeated the word back “snow?”. Her mouth getting used to the word, it came out slowly forming the word “s-no”.
